Thank you to our Facebook Page Members for contributing these cute, but serious, anecdotes about living with narcolepsy. The list will be updated as more come in.
…you come home after a hard day’s work only to wake up and realize the day hasn’t even started yet.
…”a night out on the town” means a three hour full body cat attack on the town green.
…between picking up the phone and handing it to the person standing next to you, you forget who is on the other end.
…you regularly argue with people in your dreams that you don’t belong there and beg them to help you wake up.
…you’ve been visited by giant insects, robbers, aliens, dinosaurs, demons, monsters, and dead people all in the same night.
…you’re tripping over your own feet, have a headache, your eyes are squinty, you’re on your second pot of coffee, hair is messy, wearing yesterday’s clothes, slurring your words; and you haven’t had a drink in three years.
…your car actually has an automatic pilot.
…your four year old knows how to roast a turkey, wash dishes, fold laundry, and put herself to bed.
…your four year old tucks YOU in first.
…you picked your husband/wife/significant other because s/he is the perfect height for propping you up in public.
…you’re in the middle of a sentence when you have a dream, and finish the sentence talking about something that happened in your dream.
…you think all you did was blink, and suddenly you notice your friend just staring at you funny and that’s how you know you fell asleep.
…you look everywhere for the remote, only to find it in the fridge. Next to your keys. And no one in your house finds that odd anymore…
…you hear voices in the dark that you *know* aren’t there as you fall asleep, but they’re so clear you almost end up talking to them…
…you start to fight off a sleep attack in the middle of class and leave the class not knowing/remembering a thing the professor said, but you know you didn’t sleep through *all* of it…
…when you use the shoulder of the road for a alarm clock…
…when a stoplight means time for a nap…
…when you fall asleep on the lawn mower cutting grass.
…when you have to watch laughing because your legs give out and you will fall to the floor.
…When you are driving for more than 5 min. in the car and you realize you are the only one awake, you might have a family of narcoleptics!
. . . .if every member of your family has a bed ready for your afternoon nap when you visit them.
. . . .if your riding in a car and the driver asks “are you still awake’? every 10 min.
. . . your usual present thought is “when will i be able to lay down again” or will i make it through the next hour?
. . . . you wake up in the morning and find a full glass of milk on the bathroom counter, and you live alone.
… when you wake up after sleeping for 8+ hours and still feel completely exhausted.
…when after you’ve been awake for 10 minutes in the morning, you’re ready for a nap.
…when “I probably fell asleep” is perfectly understandable for why you don’t remember something that happened in a movie, in class, etc.
…when you’ve completely confused the person you are talking to by constantly saying wrong words like, “Would you like a cup of cake?”, over & over until the person corrects you and says, “Do you mean coffee?” Then you get confused because you had no clue you were saying “cake” instead of “coffee” & wonder why they are asking
…when you set a timer to remind yourself to do something and you can’t remember what the timer was for or surprised that it’s even going off.
…when your child brings you a glass of water after you asked him/her to please do so and wonder why your child is being nice & bringing you water.
…being embarassed when you tell the waiter that he/she has brought you someone else’s order because you forgot what you ordered, or forgetting what you ordered so you end up being pleasantly surprised by what the waiter brings you.
…when you have to count your pills because you can’t or don’t remember taking them.
…when the alarm clock goes off you answer the phone and you are confused because the “phone” is still ringing.
…when you open the fridge to get a class of milk or the jelly and find a cereal box or a jar of peanut butter in the fridge instead of the milk or jelly.
…when your significant other walks into the bathroom and finds you asleep on the toilet.
…when your sudden involuntary limb movements startle your significant other and he/she wakes you up and asks if you are okay.
…when while driving you have to pull over…twice…because you can’t or don’t remember if you replaced the gas cap after pumping gas.
…in the morning you turn on the sprinkler to water the lawn and/or flower beds and you leave your house or go inside and forget that the water is on and 8 hours later you go outside and wonder why your yard is flooded.
…in the afternoon, you place the water hose in your pool to add water and then the next morning you see that your pool is really really full and then you realize you left the water on all night.
…in the morning you wake up on the floor next to your bed instead of on the bed and wonder how you ended up on the floor.
…when you walk in a bar staggering having to have someone hold you up then after a few drinks can walk a straight line
…When people think you’re rude for doing repetitive things just to be able to focus on what’s going on. Sudoku during lectures, anyone?
…When three people in the room jump up to shield your eyes from the flashing on the TV to help prevent an attack.
…When your boss tells you to lay down because she can tell you’re going to have an attack and covers you with a blanket
…not knowing if that important phone call call during a sleep time time was real or not and not knowing what was even said.
…you realize you have a wrist rest on my desk for your forehead, not your wrists.
…Coffee at 8 and bed at 10 is not an impossible combination…
…When you have fun names for the types of cataplexy episodes so your friends don’t find it so odd: like “Popsicle Mouth” or “Going Floppy”
…When you bring your cordless phone in your purse and forget your cell phone…
…When you wait for the local weather report on the wather channel, but realize you missed it, cause you fell asleep, so you wait another 10 min ,fall asleep, miss it again, and repeat for hours…till eventually u give up
…When you suddenly get dislexic and start typing backwards…
…When you you wake up to answer the phone and start speaking your native language to an american, and can’t figure out why they don’t understand you…
…When you go in to Wall-mart for 30 minutes, get a sleep attack, and emerge 3 hours later, with half of all 12 items from your list missing, cause you’re so disoriented…
…When you can fall asleep in front of the computer while trying to write a composition, and manage to have 3 nightmares in under one minute, because you wake up and see the clock between each nightmare…
…When you show up at a doctors appointment and are told there never was an appointment for you that day, even though you KNOW it was THEM who called YOU to schedule.
…You turn to your significant other at the end of church service and say, “Did I snore today?”
…You try to take a nap with your child only to wake up with a tampon in your nose an hour later because she said you were snoring and wouldn’t stop, AND she got not a wink of shut eye.
…You fall asleep at the IMAX theater within the first 10 minutes, despite sitting in the last row next to the speakers. When the movie’s over, your significant other nudges you, and you immediately try to snap to it, saying “Star Wars was a good movie! I liked it!” and his reply is, “We watched Star Trek”…
…You doze off while on the phone at work while verifying a patient’s address is correct, and instead, mumble… “Can I verify that your house is on fire?”
…A 5 minute nap can be just as refreshing as a whole night’s sleep.
…A whole night’s sleep is about as refreshing as a 5 minute nap…
…if your roommates can sing along to your techno music….even thought you have your headphones on….
…if you can still fall asleep to the same techno music at the same volume….
…if you roommates don’t even make an attempt to be quite while you are sleeping on the couch casue they all know that you can sleep right through it…..
…if you can hit the snooze button then go on a whirlwind adventure complete with indiana jones and your boyfriend saving you from a monster spider, then wake up to realize that only 3 minutes have passed…
…if you can go the entire morning thinking your cell phone is magical….
…True story: in my sophomore year of college I had an 8:30 am class (never doing that again!) and my best friend had a class at the same time so she would wake me up and then walk to class with me. One morning I had to go in a bit early and print my homework, but I failed to inform her the night before. When I woke up I just stared at her for a few minutes trying to make my mouth move. I finely managed to slur, “homework…print….library.” The best part? She knew exactly what i was talking about and it didn’t phase her in the slightest.
…if you go to your favorite art site and look up pictures of people sleeping…..
…if you can eat frosting right out of the can right before bed…
…You have the worlds cleanest hair because you can’t remember if you used shampoo or you have only just wet your hair, so you do it again just in case…
…you start every conversation with “i’m not sure, but i may have already told you this”…
…you can’t wait to drop the kids off at school so you can have a nap…
…you’re sitting wondering what to have for lunch only to hear the microwave go off and you go out to find you have already chosen and cooked something…
…you walk out into the kitchen to find the stove is on fire because a pot of water has boiled dry and you don’t remember when or why you put it on in the first place…
…you’re arriving at a raving party and instead of asking for where the beer is you ask for where the next bed is.
…at the party, you’re stone sober but nobody notices.
….there’s not a bed in your wider circle of friends you haven’t slept in
…”I’m sorry, I am talking bullshit.” is a common reply for you in a casual evening conversation.
…you’re translating a latin text and you’re wondering how the heck they could already know about Harry Potter back then in the Roman Empire.
…you’re typinggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg and suddenly you have a stiff neck
…your flatmates stop wondering whom you are arguing with at full volume 10 minutes after you’ve said good-night.
…You aren’t allowed to take walks alone.
…Your family worries when they drop you off somewhere if they’ll find you again.
…People have to make sure you’re still in the house after you spend a night alone.
…Funny people like to reinforce your HH by playing along with the illusions.
…Your bladder is better at getting you up for work than your alarm clock, so you chug a glass of water every night before bed.
…Your healthcare provider has never had experience with your condition but trusts your recommendations for medication and dosages so she hands you the requested script.
…As a teacher, your co-workers accept and expect that you will need to sit down during a fire drill.
…But you still worry that someone is going to think you’re having a stroke or are drunk.
…You’ve developed a knack for speed-reading when you’re competent, but other days it takes you hours to get through a page of text.
…You do your assignments a week in advance in case you don’t have another competent day in between now and the due date.
…You rely on writing rather than talking because at least you have the chance to make sure your words make sense together.
…”Fireflies” by Owl City takes on very profound meaning for you. In fact, it’s now your personal theme song.
…Playing children’s games, coloring and other basic motor tasks helps you with cataplexy but is also immensely entertaining.
…You think you somehow broke your neck sleeping because you can’t move in the morning.
…Avoid watching zombie movies alone.
…you start typing and all of a sudden yoursadfsa fhdsafu ksdAU
…you have no idea how many times you have said “Yes I can drive”
…The broken white like shows you what to drive over– not between– on the high way.
…You can watch sports while sleeping becuase you hear “Touch down patriots” and know to cheer.
…have tasted a delicious smelling bright pink cake… in your sleep.
…You know more about narcolepsy than your doctor
…you coul’ve sworn you saw a man run around the corner
…You feel bad for the narcoleptic dogs but still laugh.
… you need $200 of crappy cocaine just to clean your apartment.








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